Death Row is a Horrible Place to Be

Greetings. I'm allowing my spirit to lead me in writing this letter. I want to address the Death Penalty from an angle many are running from. I can't make the argument of innocence, so I will not play that game with anyone.

I will state for the record that drugs played a big part in the decision I made 15 years ago. Anyone who has knowledge of drug abuse knows that while you're under the influence of drugs, you may think you know what you're doing and are in control even though you're not. If you stop and look at the decisions I made in 1983, it's clear that something was wrong with me.

I suffer daily over my actions, and I can't stop wishing that I could just turn back the clock. Of course, I realize that'll never happen. What's done cannot be undone - but the thought is still there. So yes, I suffer over my past. I have regrets and suffer remorse. And I live with the horror of being here on Death Row, watching people give up on trying to live.

Death Row is a very horrible place to be. This place is hell for the innocent and the guilty alike. Those who are truly innocent should get all the help that people are willing to give - and then some - but I also feel that the guilty must be heard. I don't hear anyone speaking out for us. Please don't mistake my meaning. I don't mean to imply that the guilty should go unpunished, but voice must be given to all the men and women on Death Row. Why are so many people without a voice?

I understand that many are scared to speak out for a lot of reasons. Maybe I'm putting myself at risk by speaking out now, but that doesn't matter to me. At this stage, I don't have anything to lose by speaking out and everything to gain. I must do something for myself. I'm trying to start the Renaldo Hudson Mercy Committee made up of people willing to bring up my name when no voice is given to the guilty. In my mind, that's all the time. One of the things we would be doing is writing letters to the Illinois Supreme Court asking for mercy in their ruling.

I also want to paint some pictures using Death Row as a theme. I'm currently painting a man in the electric chair on a 30 X 40 canvas. I will need someone to take care of my painting. Am I asking too much? I think one painting can speak a million words. I seek not to cut into anyone's time, but the goal is to help stop the killing, right?

Thanks for listening,
Renaldo Hudson, #B-02995
P.O. Box 99
Pontiac, IL 61764

The New Abolitionist - November 1998, Volume II, Issue 5
Campaign To End The Death Penalty, Chicago, IL - www.nodeathpenalty.org